I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
