Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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