I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
too bad you live with your parents still
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
