I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
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