if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
