Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
