Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
