This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
