His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Randomize
