i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
