I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
