i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
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