I am puke
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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