I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I just gift wrapped bread.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
