Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
