I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
