he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
