ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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