I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
