You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
