From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Randomize
