I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
