that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
