i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Randomize
