Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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