Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
