Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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