There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
