you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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