why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
