WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
