apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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