He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
