Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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