you traded sex for a burrito?
I am midnight drunk by noon
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
