You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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