i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I pour the whiskey from now on
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
