This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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