I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
