i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
