I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
