At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
