So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
