Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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