Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
