I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
