I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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