Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
