I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
