Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
