so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
